Friday, June 29, 2012


In February, I discovered intuitive painting, and my life has been changing ever since.  I'm sweeping creativity into my life.  I want it to expand to the point of bursting. 

Since I started painting, I have also signed up for some formally instucted classes, and here is what I know:  Formal instruction is not for me.

It shuts down my creativity. 

It's the reason that I stopped creating in the first place. 

It makes me want to stop and hand my brush or my project over to the teacher, as theirs always looks so much better and I don't seem to be doing it right.  One class I took we traced someone elses' art and then copied what they had painted with the colors. 

I learn from these classes about what my creative direction is and where technique falls into my world.

I want freedom and light.  I want to get away from the rules, regulations and rigidity that consume my working life and painting intuitively is my guide.

No rules.  No "try it this way" or "maybe you should do that".  Just me, my open heart and the quiet voice that shows the way.  We're working things out together, this voice and I.  Working out frustration and the desire to quit when things don't look quite right or go how I want them to. 

Experiencing pure joy when things flow and time passes without my knowing. 

Not worrying about the outcome, the finished product or what comes out.  Sometimes I like it, sometimes I mess with it too much and "ruin" it with thinking, but it's in the experience itself that I am learning my lessons. 

Things that I can't see when I'm just grappling with words or thoughts.

Things unseen until they emerge from nothing onto the paper.

Sunday, June 17, 2012


I love being a beginner with it's novelty, surprises, sense of wonder.  I hope to always be a beginner.
I love not knowing where things are heading and trusting that the way will become clear as I pay attention.

I'm noticing what I'm drawn to.
Textiles-Why have I never noticed them?  Fabric and color and pattern...
Bold strokes and bold color
Stories that push me to question what I believe
Little acts of love
People who are kind
Red wine in the winter, white in the summer...

I have everything to learn and everything is possible.

Sunday, June 10, 2012


Painting outside on my deck is one of my all-time-favorite things.  

It reminds me that this is the life I am choosing.  

That this is the good stuff I want to keep. 

Paint a little, watch my daughter swim.  Talk to my husband while he's sunning himself.  

Have a refreshing beverage.

I have all this and I am overwhelmingly thankful.

At the same time, having this makes it hard to move forward because I could lose it.

It makes me careful and cautious when daring and courage are being called for.

It makes me tip toe when I should run.

It makes me hold on when I should let go.

I know it doesn't have to be an either or.  It can be a both.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Just paint

Here's what I need to do, just paint.

I don't have to push so hard to make everything perfect.

Just listen to what arises when I pay attention.   

I've always believed in goals and achievement and success.  That to make things happen I had to take action and do x-million things.

What if, like with painting, I simply acknowledge the whole mess and surrender the outcome?

Just paint, just live, without expectation or reason.  Just create freely without regard to what other people might think.

Yes, that feels much better.