Monday, December 7, 2015

Think Greatness

You are greatness.  You might not see it yet, but it's there, all the same. 
It's not an arrogant, braggy, "look at me, I'm better than you, I am sooo fabulous" kind of thing.  It's just who you are.

We all have greatness, but we're trained to look instead for flaws, problems, things to fix to make us better.  We assume that we're broken.  We focus on what's wrong.  There are all kinds of ways to "fix" us.  Liposuction, face lifts, therapy...  The thing is...

You are not broken and you never were.

You don't need fixing, although you might see it that way.

If you want to make a HUGE SHIFT in your life, turn away from problem-based thinking.  From thinking there is always something wrong that has to be fixed.

Like, "Nobody is visiting my Etsy site or buying my work.  It must be because my work is no good.  Why did I ever think I could sell it? How ridiculous. I didn't even go to art school!"  And this type of thinking goes on and on.

That my friend, is negative, beat-yourself-up, destructive thinking.  You do it to yourself, you do it to others and it doesn't do anything but make you suffer.

Greatness thinking, based on the work of Howard Glasser of the Nurtured-Heart Approach, goes something more like this: "Hmmm, nobody has visited my Etsy site.  I have heard that this is a problem with Etsy because there are so many people selling on there.  I know my work has potential, I just have to get it in front of the right people.  Now, how can I do that?" 

See the difference?  The same situation has happened-no sales.  What you do with that little nugget of information in your brain is where the difference lies.

One response will shut you down, maybe even cause you to give up.  The other removes the negative self-talk and focuses on the issue at hand.  This is a grand shift in the way you talk to yourself and others. 

Here's a fun little exercise:  Pick someone you're less than thrilled with at the moment and write a list of their greatnesses.  Here's one that I wrote about my husband on a day I was feeling not-so-very loving toward him:

He has a very good heart
He washed my car
He made my dinner (I'm starting to soften lucky am I?)
He makes sure everyone is taken care of
He's a good friend to others (even though he's annoying me right now...greatness, think greatness...)

Then I looked for those qualities in myself.  Oh yes-I can be a good friend to people and I too try to make sure everyone is taken care of-ok, we're both doing pretty well here....

If you start to make this into a practice, watch how your interactions and confidence in yourself start to shift.  Notice how that way you judge others begins to slide from negative judgements to seeking out their greatness. It's a practice, remember.  You have to intentionally keep coming back to looking for greatness again and again.

Sooo, how does all of this greatness stuff help you in creating the life you envision?  Well, when you begin to see your own greatness, to feel it, to really believe in it, you begin to radiate it.  

You begin to build real confidence in yourself.  And that is HUGE. For me it has made the difference between moving forward and getting stuck in my tracks when things don't work out the way I thought they should. 

Like when I was first approaching places to sell jewelry, someone was interested in carrying my jewelry in her salon (per a phone call) and then after I sent her pictures, she was less receptive. Now, in my old way of thinking, I would flog myself mentally, thinking my work was no good and no one wanted to sell it.  I would really start to go into a negative vortex.  

In practicing greatness thinking I instead say to myself, "You know what?  Maybe it's not for her.  You've never been in her salon.  You have no idea who her customers are.  Maybe it's just not a good fit.  Look at all you are selling in other places.  You're doing great.  People like what you make.  Keep going."

If you're coming from a place of seeing your own greatness as well as that of the people you serve, you'll begin to see where your talents meet their needs in some way.  Where can your gifts solve an issue that's keeping them from stepping forward in their greatness? Where you can help them move forward or get what they want in some way.

Everyone has greatness.  You are it.  Own it.

I'm going to start spreading a little greatness around. Come back and see, it might just be about you.


Unknown said...

Wise words, Kelly! When you are out on your own running a business, this is just the information you need.

Kelly D said...

Yes Karen,being able to reframe things in a positive light makes it so much more fun.I think we mostly lean toward unnecessary beating of ourselves, when kindness is called for instead.