Supporting Joy

"I make it a priority to do the things that I am passionate about even when I don’t see them directly leading to any beneficial thing in my life other than supporting my own joy." 
-Christina Seitz howtobeagoddess.net

I so love that my daughter is creative.  I love that she doesn't judge herself harshly.  That comparison hasn't snaked it's damaging head in just yet.  That she's still free to explore and create without censure. Without purpose even, other than to enjoy herself. She reminds me of what creating art should be-Fun! Free! And alive with color and energy.  

She's teaching me that not knowing how is ok- just make it up and it will turn out fine-that's what being creative is about. Not knowing gives you the opportunity to put your own spin on it.  She's a little bit of a rebel in that way.

My job, as I see it, is to keep this freedom alive in her.  I do it by finding it in myself and practicing.  Practicing setting aside judgement, expectation, critique of any kind.  Just giving myself permission to explore freely. To never be critical, of my own art or hers.  To look for what we most like in each other's art and to improve on those things.

I'm grateful to have such an excellent teacher. 

 

Rose pens made of duct tape

Rose Detail

Mandalas

 

 

 

 

Weaving

Using yarn, lace and ribbon

Bird of Possibility

My painted blackbird

This blackbird is a diversion from what I've come to consider my painting style.  Typically I have many layers of paint that eventually come together.  This blackbird just appeared quickly and I like the simplicity of it.  I can't bring myself to change it.

One of the things I discovered in my painting this week is my tendency to not want to mess things up.  To not take risks because I might make it worse.  To stay in a place that seems comfortable instead of pushing forward.  Then I noticed how many ways I stay stuck because things are "ok" and I don't want to make them worse.  

But in staying comfortable, I close the door on what's possible.  On what might be spectacular.  Staying with "ok" because I don't want to make it worse, is FEAR whispering in my ear.  Painting is a safe space to practice taking risks.  Being bold.  Messing it up.  It doesn't matter. What matters is what you're discovering.  Like you've been living in fear and haven't even noticed. 

Where are you settling for ok in your own life?  Where are you nervous to take risks for fear of making things worse?  Where are you willing to open a little to let the possibilities pour in?

Pick up a paintbrush with a child like heart and no attachment to the outcome, and see what you discover.

My daughter's IPAD version in Drawcast

Some quick research on black bird symbolism from What's your sign:

Birds robed in black do not give up their secrets easily. They love to watch us marvel over their messages. Black birds demand our commitment to learning their wisdom, and do not reveal their meanings unless they are convinced we've devoted ourselves completely to the path of understanding (both dark and light sides of) energy. 


This is a fundamental concept of alchemy which is: Transition and Transformation. The bird is symbolic of life in the heavens (higher ideals, higher path of knowing) and the color black is symbolic of pure potential. Between the two, there is no limit to human transformation - all we have to do is close the shutters of the rational mind, and start sojourning with our darkly feathered friends.
Black birds (in general) are archetypes of living life in higher realms, and are symbolic of:

• Higher Intelligence
• Higher Thought
• Higher Ideals

Trust

Feminine Wisdom

TRUST is my word right now.  

Not necessarily for the New Year, but for now.  

It's not the kind of trust that first comes to mind, like trusting a friend with a secret or trusting someone with your life savings.  

No.  It's a different kind of trust.  

The kind that is a deep knowing and believing that everything that happens is what is supposed to happen.

Even if right now it seems sucky.

And you hate it.

And it feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen.  

Thing is, you can't possibly know that.  

You can't know that it would be better the way YOU wanted it to go.  

You only have what IS.  What actually happened. 

You can rail against it, but it still is, and you only suffer in fighting it.

So, you have a choice.  

You can suffer and replay in your mind how things SHOULD be different.  

Or, you can choose to trust.  

Trust that the reason will some day become apparent.  

You just can't see it right yet, with the mighty shoulds blinding you.  

But inside this thing that you are suffering, might be a gift that takes some time to come into the light.  

It may even turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

The thing is, I know this about trust.  

I know it in my head.  

But painting is teaching me to experience it.  

To push up against the edge of something that I want to be different and to not give up because I don't like it. It gets to a point where you just surrender what it looks like and paint what you feel.  

And that's when it starts to get good...

Pick up a paintbrush.  Put down a line.  A shape.  A mash of colors.  You might come to a place of having serious issues with what you've done.  

You might lose faith in your "so called abilities".  

You may think you have no business even picking up a paintbrush.  

BUT....if you can stay with it-if you can sit in that place of discomfort and angst, if you can just keep going even though you would rather put down your brush and weep-if you KEEP GOING with trust in your heart-eventually you will find what you came to the canvas to paint.

It might take a LOT of layers.  

It might even take many transformations.  

It is not your business to know how it SHOULD unfold.  

It is your job to stay and continue on.  

Do the work and watch what shows up.

On your canvas and in your life.

Wine Charms

I shared this post on my wine blog, winebellies but thought I would share it here too, as it's sort of a crossover wine and creative thing...

Libby's Charmers

And mine

Love the little wineglass

We had a beach-y thing going

 These charms were super easy to make-my kind of craft.  The girls even got in on the action.

I believe this is Teagan's

The girls can never resist when we bust out the art supplies, even though they were supposed to be frosting cookies in the kitchen...the call of the wine charms drew them in like a siren-song (or maybe it was the 80's music we were playing?  Who can resist 80's music???)

Libby and I had ourselves a Michael's shopping spree (followed closely by Mohitos at Cantina Laredo).   

Supply list:
wire earrings (They come in a box of tangled wire.  We didn't realize until later that the sizes actually vary)
beads in a variety of colors
spacers 
charms (you may want to go with a theme)
Needle nosed tool to cut and twist wire

Directions:
Slide the beads on the wire, arranging the charm so it's in the middle. (Best to lay out your pattern ahead of time, which we had no patience for so we just kept putting beads on and taking them off and then drinking more wine to ease our frustration...) 

The wire earrings already have a loop on one end, that stays as is.

When you have your beads on as you like them, use the needle-nosed/wire cutting tool to turn the non-loop end of the wire up at a 90 degree angle so that it holds the beads on and will lock in with the loop. (You may have to turn the loop slightly to align it.)  And Voila!  You are done. 

We made sets of 4, as you can see above in Libby's beach charm photo.  (My wine glass charm was the first one I made and we hadn't perfected how to bend the ends yet, so that one looks different.) 

New Age Art

The Sunset Before Time on Drawcast App

My 11-year old daughter creates amazing artwork on her I-pad.  This one she made on an app called "Drawcast" which also creates a video of the lines and fillers you used in the process so you can watch what you did after the fact.  Every line, shape, circle.  It's a little replay that I haven't figured out how to share here yet, but you can view it if you have the app and search by the title.

I love the explosion of art and technology. My daughter and her friends make videos, design new fashions, invent new hairstyles.  It's a creative child's heaven to have access to so many ways of expressing yourself.
Here are some of my daughter's faves:

Glow Doodle-Draw a picture and press the glow button to see what happens!

 

Pencil Pad-Drawing pad where you use different colors

 

Paper 53-Blend colors and use a bunch of different tools

 

Doodle Buddy-Draw and use stamps and stickers.  Upload a photo from your library and draw on it.

 

Falling Stars-You draw a picture and then activate the stars that bounce against your drawing and make music.  Different sounds depending on what tools you used.

 

Forge of Neon-Create neon colored symmetrical patterns

 

Magic Painter-Create colorful, textured words and images

Created with Magic Painter using "Rejoice" tool

Mask making

Early stages below, finished product on top

We are knee deep in paper mache. I'm making a mask and my daughter is working on a school project.

I love mother-daughter art projects. 

Good, quality time together.  

Recipe:  Flour, water and newspaper.

Secret ingredient: As my daughter put it, "small people really like making a mess."

And we haven't even busted out the paints yet.  

Quiet Inspiration

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"
-Henry David Thoreau

Art Journal, Summer 2012

I'm living a life of quiet inspiration and I intend to ignite a whole lot of other women to do the same.  Let the men keep their desperation.

Here are some major shifts I've made lately:

I'm looking for greatness in myself and others.  
It hasn't always been this way. 
It's a practice.  
I don't always succeed.  

I'm listening for greatness. 
I'm looking.  

It's different than looking for how you're better than others.
It's different than listing your self-destructive behaviors as greatness.  Like I only screwed up 10 times instead of 11, so that's my greatness.  It's really looking deeper.  Like I screwed up 10 times but I still tried an 11th time and THAT time, I got it right.  Look at how persistent and how tenacious I am!

Part of what I'm noticing in actively looking for in stating the greatness of others is that I'm noticing how damaging comparison can be. 

Holding up this ideal image of what you think should be is damaging to you and those around you.  
Whether it's how much you weigh, how strong your relationship is, how good of an artist you are.  

Part of intuitive painting is that you have permission to suck.  And that permission strips the comparison right away, so that you can see things like how much of your life you spend holding up these ideals that really aren't true.  
Like love should look and be and act a certain way.  
Like if you gain those 7 pounds back you are a failure as a human being.  
Like what you look like is the only thing you have to give to the world.  

It saddens me to watch women do this to themselves. And I see it ALL THE TIME.  Like the kid in "The Sixth Sense" sees dead people.  

Before I would give the advice that you should just STOP.  But it doesn't work that way.  Your mind needs a substitute, a replacement.  I offer it gratitude and greatness, which are really one in the same.  Every day.  

What are you grateful for?

What is your true greatness today?